Discoveries

Not every story is about overcoming adversity. But every story is about the ongoing quest to find oneself, whether we want or mean for them to be or not.

You never know what you’ll find at the bottom of the ocean, but you can be sure that you’ll never find anything if you only ever skim the top looking for answers.

I’m going to do it today.
This was Ajax at his best. The salty wind rushing through his hair, as venomous adrenaline accumulated in his veins. This was both a reason to stay alive and a reason to die.

Surfing could be a sport, or a pastime, or a hobby, or a thing you do to blow off steam, or the thing you do when there’s nothing else to do and you run out of excuses for staying inside on a beautiful day. You could seek crashing waves like a hunter, the vast ocean your endless prey. Ride out the morning and the afternoon and the evening and all the friendships you lost on your way to the top of the life you thought you wanted.

Giant ripples push you out of the way, making the ripples in your life seem pale and insignificant by comparison. You can’t control the ocean, a perfect transference for the illusion of all the control you have and lose any time you sign your name to a dotted line.

I’m going to do it today.
This was Ajax at his worst. Every day he tried his best to end his life doing the thing he loved most, rather than loving the life that will always end whether he wants it to or not.